I met up with my friend Rya Jones over the weekend of 24/25 June and we filmed some video, of which this is the first to be published. The original concept was ‘what does it mean to be trans’ however the new title more accurately represents the finished product.
I think it’s indicative of what a blind alley transgender culture is, when a video like this with the central message of ‘we should listen to and respect women’, should attract criticism for being ‘transphobic’. It’s a lazy criticism, reflecting more an empty ideology that cannot engage with rational argument, an authoritarian ideology that ultimately seeks to do to women exactly what men have been doing to women for millennia, which is to tell women what it is to be a woman.
I have made the observation many times that transgender activism is men’s rights activism, and a wholly negative form of men’s rights activism it is, having itself become the new, socially acceptable form of sexism, misogyny and homophobia. This is a huge step backwards; when I recall the political landscape of the 1980s when young people rallied against sexism, homophobia and misogyny, a reaction against regressive attitudes embedded in society and, in the UK, a reactionary government that in 1988 enacted Section 28, it breaks my heart to see exactly the same sort of attitudes shown by that era’s moral dinosaurs re-emerge under the cloak of transgenderism: virulent homophobia, Victorian beliefs about female brains claiming the biological essentialism of innate gender, and po-faced complaints about ‘sexism against men’ while telling women to shut up and do as they are told.
Transgenderism never addresses the real problem, that it is the system of gender itself which causes real-life problems for transsexuals and transgender individuals, whether through the effect of homophobic attacks by males, street harassment or cultural obstacles to self expression. The perpetrators of such inequities are not women or those of us who are trans and speak out against transgender culture and suffer so much abuse and lateral violence from the transgender community (because when you have no coherent argument to make, violence and abuse are the only weapons you have left). If we are going to address the issues that really cause us difficulties in real-life, we need to name the problem.
If we are going to be able to claim ‘Pride’ of any sort, we need to do so on the basis of material reality and our achievements, not claims to victimhood, magical thinking or sustaining cultural violence. And while we’re at it, we need to regain our sense of humour: lighten up, trannies, this used to be fun and now you’re spoiling it for everyone.
It’s so great you are taking on this problem in the Trans acktivist’s agenda. It must be hurting also for Trans-women like you. Keep on with your good argument’s and job.
Thank you and big hugs to you.
Thank you!
I knew a trans like you two that’s why when all this first came out I was like who gives a damn with the bathroom thing honestly. That’s why when all of the crazy vitriol toward women came out it felt like a real betrayal.
Not to mention the identities not based on the reality of biological sex.
I hadn’t encountered the misogynistic reality denying autogyns yet.
But it’s nice to see you two. It gives me hope.
I see a potentially severe backlash in the future that is going to sweep up all trans together and it might be very difficult if not impossible to recover from.
I wish that more in the trans community would drop the non-reality and try allying with women instead of hating us simply because we maintain boundaries and spaces.
I feel like I’m watching a train wreck and I’m still watching the right to see what their angle is.
It all seems so intentional.
I think much of the hatred for women that these people have, was present before they decided they were “trans”. Going transexual just gives them a “legitimate” outlet for it. And such glee they have in being able to express it! “I can punch women, yippee!”, “*I’ll* tell them what feminism is, the whores!”. I’m surprised there’s no T-shirt threatening to fuck some sense into those crazy TERF whore-bitches. REAL feminism, like you feel in your heart and testicles.
And yeah what the right are gonna do IS worrying. Only takes some enterprising smart right-winger to do some real damage. To ACTUAL, real left-wingers, real feminists, people who are fighting for progress in society on behalf of those it oppresses. Rather than the rights of middle-class white (mostly) men to have their feelings trump reality. To have what THEY say and think, be what everyone else has to live with.
So now the opinions of men shape reality itself (as far as we’re allowed to talk about it, as far as laws are made). And fighting back makes YOU a right-wing reactionary, homophobic type. What a fantastic bit of manoeuvring that was!
At least people like Milo Wossname are basically just trolls. He doesn’t have money and power behind him. He’s not speaking on behalf of huge established vested interests, big big money, old and powerful groups of men. Mostly he speaks on behalf of idiot virgins and other trolls.
If transexuals keep getting more attention, more pandering, then as soon as it’s profitable, the PTB are gonna get a sniff and use it to their advantage. Rule us from both sides, the old right, and the new “left”.
Brrr!
Thank god for you guys. Many women feel that if the definition of “woman” is broadened to include, well, any male who “”feels”” he is one, then legally women (in the biological sense) will no longer exist, which is not only highly insulting but a dangerous legal and medical precedent.
I wish you would talk to my son who is trapped by this madness, he tried to strangle me because “he was angry”, now in a secure mental health unit having his delusion affirmed……what are parents supposed to do? We are very lost, isolated and frightened. Thank you for speaking the truth Miranda
I’m sorry for what you are going through. He’s not though being held in an MHU on the basis he’s trans?
No he is in there after 3 years requesting mental health treatment from his uni went ignored, in his vulnerable state he was pounced on by TRA’s as an easy target to manipulate and convince he is trans (he has never had dysphoria until 6 months ago after 24/7 immersion in the trans ideology). He is being treated by National Schizophrenic Fellowship but being released on Monday. The Domestic Violence team are very concerned about my personal safety.
I watched this and some of Rya’s other videos just last night.
All I can say is thanks for bringing some sense to this, we desperately need this dialogue. Your dead right, the activists are acting in a very masculine way and it just isn’t working, we used to be able to create a separation between women and the social concept of women but that seems to be long gone and it’s affecting women’s rights to privacy and safety majorly.
Nope. Transwomen are women. I don’t want womanhood to be defined by sex. My vagina is not what makes me a woman. Transwomen are not privilaged, the rates at which they experience sexual abuse and work related discrimination is much higher than cis women. Transwomen help broaden what it means to be a woman. They help illustrate that some discrimination is purely gendered, given that transwomen have much higher rates of being sexually abused than transmen. Your terf rhetoric is weak from a biological, anthropological, and sociological perspective. In many societies there are more than two genders, but thanks for your hateful ahistoric view of the matter.
Your words are just polemic. There is no hate in what I am saying. Why can’t ‘transwomen’ broaden what it means to be a man? Surely this would be better for everyone, ‘transwomen’ included?
Because we aren’t men, so it makes no sense that our experience broadens the definition of men? Trans women are women, trans men are men. Trans men are the ones who broaden men’s experiences. Trans is a prefix just like black or Jewish or gay, it’s not a a separation but an intersection.
Except that a black woman, a Jewish woman and a gay woman are born with a female reproductive system. Massive difference. Can you not see this ideology goes nowhere?
Thank you. I have nothing against trans people but I’m horrified by the erasure of biological reality from the discussion. Can a male bodied adult simply declare that they identify as ‘female’ and automatically appropriate women’s spaces and womanhood? Is said person a ‘woman’ at the point of identification as a woman w/o regard to physical transition? When I asked these questions I was called a terf, ‘gross’, ‘transphobic’ and so on. Not only that, women who were also raising the question were accused of being responsible for the murder of trans women (even though the perpetrators are cis men who don’t have any particular interest in feminism).
You are just not understanding.
Women are not people who fail at or don’t identify with masculinity. We are not “non-men.”
Broaden the definition of men, get rid of the man box, and male-bodied people can like knitting, wearing dresses and crying at sappy movies, too. They can like having sex with men or even getting fake breasts. Maybe they want to take hormones and have surgeries to appear more like women and solve a mind/body disconnect. That would be okay for men too.
Women are ALSO not people who identify with femininity. This is offensive.
You are not women, you are trans males, which is to say either female-body identifying males (transsexuals) or femininity identifying males (transgender). You may work to resolve your dysmorphia, but can’t expect the world to revolve around alleviating your dysphoria (expecting this probably does not help trans mental health outcomes). Many people will be nice and use your pronouns, which is a level of consideration (some would say enabling) more than people with other distressing psychological conditions receive, but erasing biological sex categories? Demanding access to women’s spaces and bodies based on your internal feelings? Erasing the origins of female oppression to suit your narrative? Erasing reality to suit your narrative? That is beyond selfish, it’s evil.
Black is not a prefix. Woman is not a prefix.
homo, hetero, trans, bi . . . these are prefixes.
Let me just ask you this: If I experience racial dysphoria and want to pursue a transracial identity, or undergo skin pigment alteration to become a transblack, and then lash out at the black community for denying my blackness, who’s in the wrong?
I’m inclined to think that most humans agree that I can’t just decide I’m black and demand my identity be respected as such. That I can transition from white to black and deny the biological reality of race, maybe start wearing a “I punch Trans-racial exclusionary brown people” shirt. I think it’s fair to say that would be horridly emblematic of racial privilege and that it exacts one hell of a racial violence on the millions of humans who have suffered because of their biologically determined race.
Males are Males, Females are Females – down to the DNA. Like it or not, science doesn’t really care.
Men, Women, Transmen, and Transwomen can find their favorite place in the identity continuum, and that’s all fine – but that’s a matter for the humanities to argue about. Science doesn’t need to have a dog in that fight.
But those things that we do know, scientifically, like what the consequences of a womb are – they matter in a big, big way. Transwomen do not live with those consequences. It’s different. No way to work around that.
I was born a mixed race brown skinned woman and am nearly 50 yrs old. Whilst I respect a person’s right to change their outward appearance, a man who looks like a man will be treated to the privileges of being a man and (especially if they’re white) will never be able to empathise with my experiences of (or personally experience) being a woman, the misogyny combined with racism etc. Sorry but that’s irrefutable.
excellent piece of writing Miranda, and Carl, excellent analogy – its like can i identify as a 20 year old haha – our basic biology cant be ignored – this will backfire big time and history will say trans extremists tried to eliminate biological women to extinction (notice i don’t say normal trans people, like the ones i know, -they know the are male and cant change their sex physically (would mean major surgery to bones muscles insides!!), they can only live like they think a woman would) Note they hate this extremist hate campaign against women. Stonewall needs to be closed down its getting millions ££ to do major damage to everyone.
Has no one told them we are mammals and all mammals have male and female, mother and father.. cats dogs lions…. do trans activists who think sex is gender think animals are many genders too? they started this by using the word gender instead of sex, how this confusion started – sex by law is stated as male or female.
You might not feel you are a man but you certainly are not a woman. It’s impossible for any one to say they were born in the “wrong body” since no one who says this can speak from the perspective of having been in the other sort of body, it’s a total construct and an appropriation. You can never know what it is to be a woman unless that is your biology – all you can do is imagine you know and make believe this has some kind of authority.
excellent point
Because trans women are WOMEN. stop being so entitled.
No man can ever know what womanhood is.
Many women are even disconnected from this, in a Patriarchy, too.
On the most esoteric layer, the Womb is the Seat of Akasha. It’s a portal between the worlds – whether to bring life forth, or not.
“The Feminine Mysteries” are called as such, not because you’re excluded, but because they cannot be shared through the vehicle of Patriarchal Language.
The Root of Life is Cosmic Mother, and Cosmic Father: this is creation.
Neither one is the other.
They are Sacred, and should be respected.
All of us are created by their union; half sperm (father) half egg (mother).
Imbalances are caused by issues with one or the other.
This is the *root*.
We are the Fruit.
Fruit is male, female – or some anomaly.
And that’s ok.
Not everyone is heterosexual, or wants to breed.
Do what you want with your life – but respect the Root.
No man has this Portal, or Seat of Akasha, and it can’t be summoned.
Men are not women.
Anyone can dress up how they want to, and be called by any name they like – this individual expression, and simple mutual respect.
Women who want to be with women, and Bask in the Wisdom of Akasha – without men – should be respected.
Who doesn’t respect wombs?
Boundaries?
A polite or definitive NO?
Rapists.
Forcing oneself where they are not wanted, or don’t belong, is rude at least, and rape, at worst.
“transwomen” are men hungry for the goddess, in a patriarchy.
Whether from mother-issues, or unfinished business from a past-life.
The first step is RESPECT – it’s a Goddess quality.
It starts within, and is it’s own reward.
Respect women, respect No, respect reality – and wear what you want.
No. It’s you who are being entitled. Entitled to assume at will what I was born with.
I’m white.
How would the black community feel if one day I woke up and said “I feel black, therefore I AM black”. They would tell me where to go, and rightly so.
You are a woman. It might not be your vagina that defines you as a woman, but that’s part of it. It’s your DNA that defines you as a woman. Men (and Trans-women) aren’t born with vaginas or female reproductive systems. Men (and trans-women) don’t have a period. Men (and trans-women) don’t need tampons. There’s no such thing as a “cis” woman, there’s just a woman. Someone pretending to be a woman shouldn’t be giving ACTUAL women a prefix, unless ACTUAL women are allowed to give fake women a suffix, like “woman”whoplanstohavehispenischoppedoff”, or malewhothinkshesawomanbutisnt.
In many societies there are more than 2 genders? Nope. Try again. When you look at ancient texts, you have to look at the way they speak, the way they express themselves through language. No culture was ever accepting of a man trying to pass himself off as a woman or a woman trying to pass herself off as a man. If you think you can prove me wrong, PLEASE bring the evidence. There may have been terms for feminine men or masculine girls, but no culture in recorded history ever said “sure, that person over there with a penis is a woman” or “that person over there with a vagina is a man”. That’s ridiculous, and it’s pretty obvious why.
I think I should state that I don’t dislike, hate, or even give “transgender” people a hard time. I figure that if these people are trying to be something they’re not they’re already having a hard enough time, especially from people that are intolerant. I don’t hate someone that’s wrong, they’re just wrong, that’s all.
They might wish they are a different gender, they might relate better to a different gender, and their sexual desires may fit in better with a different gender, but that doesn’t make them a different gender.
Here’s the litmus test: let’s take a healthy 25 year old male that says he’s a female. Let’s lop off his dick and balls, give him whatever kind of fake vagina they give people like him, and throw a set of fake boobs on him. Let’s let him take female hormones for 30 years. Then let’s give him a DNA test. Would you like to know what that DNA test is going to say? It’s going to say that HE’S A MAN!!!
You can’t be something you’re not. If I say I’m a dog, will I be able to take a crap in my yard without getting arrested? Doubtful. So tell me why it’s lawful to pass yourself off as a woman or man when you are actually the opposite sex?
Pride? You’re proud of what? Calling yourself something you’re not? I’m actually kind of pissed off when people do that (when it isn’t a mental issue).
Here’s the thing, and you might think it goes against everything I said: I have nothing against people that think they’re a gender that they’re not. They are people too, I’m just not going to buy into their delusions. Science is AWESOME!!! There’s no scientific evidence however that says people born men are actually women or vice versa. This whole idea of “you have to accept everyone, regardless of what they think” is complete bullshit. Sorry If you disagree, but a man isn’t a woman. Can a man give birth? Can a man nurse a child? Nope! How is a “transgender woman” a woman ? By name only. They will claim to be women but have none of the biological markers that make them women.
From a scientific standpoint it’s complete nonsense. Trans women are NOT women and trans men are NOT men. What evidence do you have that say they are? Please prove me wrong, I really would love it!
Well said Christopher, I and all women, girls (and men) i know hate men’s and women’s single sex spaces being this infiltrated by the opposite sex.
it has actually been against the law for years now. sex as male and female are listed as protected characteristics which should have their own single sex spaces re toilets (about 1 per 24 women!) changing rooms, sports… gender dysphoria is a protected characteristic but the law states they should be offered “separate facilities” — “separate” is not the same word as “women’s”!!
And we all hate new stupid cis term that someone made up – because of work, CIS will always be “crime intelligence system” to me!! ha-ha – Stonewall only got away with this cos we’ve had a pandemic and not paid attention to their madness.
How did this happen- Stonewall got companies to pay them millions, they send leaflets out, in them they changed the word changed “sex” to “gender” – then refer to many genders which are a person’s state of mind, how they want to live. Fine if dunt affect me. but when they try to remove our private spaces thus causing young girls and women to be assaulted raped, i think hang on this is disgusting when did men get to be allowed in women’s toilets changing rooms and prisons eg a male rapist (raped young boys and women) was put in UK women’s prison, sexually assaulted women there, he is 6′ tall, deep voice, beard, bulky build, terrified the women. The Judge finally said he was a dangerous predator who went out of his way, through deception to get into women’s only spaces so he could attack them….. And Stonewall said a man would never do that!…. he has!
It is also racial and religious discrimination – beliefs and races which believe a women is not allowed to undress when a man is present is essentially being excluded from society as she has to be home in time for the toilet and can’t do sports or swim…
History will look back on this in horror and disgust and disbelief and think countries and organisations, treated and did to women, what slavers did to West Indians and Africans. (Removing our basic human rights.)
I’m a scientist. You are 100% correct.
BRAVO! So very well put. Thank you. ???????
“the rates at which they experience sexual abuse and work related discrimination is much higher than cis women” ha ha ha ha, I am crying with laughter
” I don’t want womanhood to be defined by sex. ”
Yes, nothing should be defined by it’s actual definition.
Madness.
Word UP, Rudy. Thanks.
Everything you say is false.
Women, as always, are sexually abused at a far higher rate than males of any kind. The murder rate is highest of non-trans males, followed by non-trans females, followed by trans males and trans females.
Historical “third genders” have all been based on rigid gender roles in patriarchal societies and the policing of people’s behavior due to said gender roles, which are both proscriptive and prescriptive.
Interesting you accuse others of being “ahistorical” when 1)you cannot give a non-circular definition of “woman” that does not involve sex and 2)you are appropriating and mischaracterizing the history of other cultures.
I know it’s 16 months later but I can’t let this go. If your womanhood has nothing to do with your sexed body then where on earth does it reside?
Do you believe in ladybrain or some sort of gendered soul? The first is Sexism 101, the other sounds like a faith position.
I challenge you to define the word woman so that it *includes* women as well as transwomen but *excludes* both men and transmen. Circular definitions don’t count. Saying “a nargle is anyone who identifies as a nargle” doesn’t tell us anything about what a nargle is. My definition is woman = adult human female.
You say “Transwomen are not privilaged, the rates at which they experience sexual abuse and work related discrimination is much higher than cis women.”
I don’t know about work – I’m sure transwomen do face discrimination, though many late transitioning men have already ridden that sweet male privilege to success at work, often with a wife doing the heavy lifting at home. No one ever hesitated to hire or promote them over concerns about potential pregnancy. Pip/Philip Bunce of Credit Suisse is a notorious example.
But sexual abuse? Are you crazy? The reason men succeed in committing industrial levels of sexual abuse is simple. Men have far greater physical strength than women. Strength fuelled by aggression.
Had I been of equal strength to them, neither of the men who raped me would have succeeded. But because I’m a woman I wasn’t strong enough to fight them off.
Male strength isn’t just a product of their greater average height. It’s expressed in every part of their bodies, from their larger heart and lungs to the angle of their legs to their pelvis. We’re a sexually dimorphic species – it’s our whole bodies, not just our genitals, that differ.
This is the reason sports should remain sex segregated. It’s also the reason your claim that transwomen experience far higher rates of sexual abuse is piffle. Rapists and molesters are very much less likely to attack anyone who can defend themselves.
As for “terf rhetoric” – your internalised misogyny is ugly to witness. Here’s hoping you’re really young and impressionable.
your oppression is based on your sex. the fact that you have a vagina makes you a woman and vulnerable to rape and sexual violence . oppression of women is sex based oppression. Men oppress women and transwomen. trans women do not have higher rates of being sexually abused or being physically abused by men. 4 women a week are murdered in Australia by their male partners . i have yet to hear of a trans woman being murdered. trans women enjoy male privilege because they are male and, grew up male. trans women are constantly threatening violence against lesbians who do not accept them as women. Calling a woman a TERF is verbally abusive. put your focus on preventing violence against women. women have the right to define themselves as women, as adult human females.
Jeanette your stats are wrong. One woman a week is murdered by a current or ex partner in Australia each week.
Also 50% of the population are women so of course you will hear about violence to women much more than violence to trans women. Trans women are a tiny proportion of the population and many of them live without partners.
Also class privilege does not apply evenly to all individuals. So some individual women have much more privilege than many trans women.
But I understand where you are coming from and I think your points have merit. Cheers
Nope. You are not a woman, you are trans. Women are just women, not “cis women”, you have a right to exist in your own terms but women don’t have to change who they are to accomodate you. But of course, forcing women is exactly the kind of behavior expected from a dude.
It isn’t about what you want. It’s about scientific and biological fact. Transwomen are men. It is impossible for a man to become a woman. The only thing he can do is alter his body and/or wear “womanface” and play make pretend.
I agree. Absolutely. A transwoman is still a man regardless of what he adds or takes off. His chromosomes cannot be changed. He is XY for life.
XY chromosomes equals a male, XX equals a female. Nothing can chance that regardless of what you do. This was assigned by birth.
Omg! thank you for that! You’re both beautiful souls! trans agenda is dangerously dividing the feminism, It’s awful.
Thank You both!
Refreshing and never before heard sanity and consideration.
Best wishes.
Keep speaking up! I appreciate your voice!
Big bear hugs to you both. In my books you are honourary gals. ? Warm wishes and much happiness to you.
Not to mention “who cares?” Are we going to tell an organization supporting black women to stop focusing on black women and focus more on Native women because they are at a higher risk of rape? Of course not. I also don’t by that transwomen experience higher rates of violence, given the violent pornification of women’s bodies and the prolific spread of the sex industry, which mainly impacts women very violently (it is bodies with vaginas which are the main demand of men and the main focus of sex traffickers). Throw this in with what we are losing in reproductive rights – which I consider a form of violence against women – and I say we are at least tied. But again, it should be irrelevant, because violence against one group does not mean we don’t talk SPECIFICALLY against the violence of another group.
Thanks, Miranda, for speaking so eloquently.
Thank you, Miranda. Sane words in an increasingly mad world.
Thank you. Well said. You are a beautiful soul.
I have a question and I feel a bit ridiculous asking it but I read a lot about what trans women should be allowed to call themselves from a radical feminist perspective and stuff. I am a M-to-F transsexual individual. Since a long time no one referred to me as a man or trans. Neither people in public life nor new friends nor lovers. Should I now because I seem not to deserve to be called anything like ‘Miss’ or ‘she’ or ‘this woman over there’ correct every person who calls me like this and tell them they’re actually wrong cause I have xy-chromosomes? Cause this would be very exhausting and I don’t really see the point. Of course when I go to the doctor and the first thing they ask is if I am taking ‘the pill’ I explain to them for medical reasons that I am a transsexual. Or people I have sex with I tell before that I’m trans cause I’ve heard there are people for whom it’s important what inner organs and chromosomes their sex partners have (however until now nobody I’ve had sex with cared). Or if I’m really close friends with someone I sometimes tell them I’m trans because it’s relevant for some story about my past life or whatever. But if I’d do this in any social situation I’m afraid I would waste a lot of time doing this and I don’t really understand the purpose since I’m not really a huge fan of arguments that are based upon what someone ‘deserves’ or not.
I think the main point is to acknowledge and recognize the clear differences (biological, social, and political) between women and transsexuals living as women, not so much to allow this difference to preside over every discussion or interaction you’re part of because you’re transsexual. I’m a woman, and if I had a hood on and someone behind me said about me “beside that man over there”, I wouldn’t necessarily feel the need to correct them. As far as pronouns go, and this is more my personal opinion rather than a thorough political position, if someone has made a considerable effort to transition, is respectful and acknowledging of the difference between transsexuals and women, and doesn’t expect/demand to be included in pronouns, I don’t really mind sharing it with them in an honourary sort of way. Not every radfem feels that way, and I’m not strictly speaking from a political standpoint, it’s just what I personally think would or wouldn’t be beyond the pale in my interactions. If someone is disrespectful/hostile, stuck in a delusion that they are exactly the same as a woman, and feels entitled to take pronouns/identities (which does not sound like you), I’m not inclined to give them anything. I think that the attitude of a trans person with regards to pronouns/titles (whether they demand a certain pronoun or not, if they become hostile or cry victimization if they don’t get the “right” pronoun, if they feel entitled to claim/define womanhood and all its titles/pronouns/protections/recognition, etc) is what’s more important. As long as you acknowledge the difference between yourself and women where it’s relevant (like with female-only spaces, with medical concerns, and with sexual partners, as you do), that’s more important than correcting how strangers/acquaintances refer to you in casual conversation.
Thanks for your answer. I certainly understand that there are differences. And as I said in my other comment I’d not for example go to a meeting that is excluding people like me even if I could. I also don’t see why someone whould do this. But there is something where I am a bit insecure. I have been sexually harrassed several times on allgender toilets and twice there were men who tried to rape me and I was lucky once there was someone helping me and once I could escape. I know that I don’t have xx-chromosomes and female inner organs but because of my appearance I become a victim of male violence because people always think I am female. So what toilet should I use?
I definitely see your conundrum, male-perpetrated violence often spreads beyond women to males who remind those violent men of women (be it because they’re transsexual, gay/bisexual, feminine, etc). I think the ultimate issue that must be addressed is male violence itself, nobody should ever be endangered by being in a men’s bathroom. Ideally, transsexuals should be able to safely use men’s bathrooms. However, we’re nowhere near the point of being rid of male violence against anybody.
What I understand of laws that do not revolve around self-ID is that sex-reassignment medical interventions/surgeries are generally a permissible basis for using bathrooms for the other sex. From what I’ve seen, radical feminists tend not to be particularly concerned about people who are fully transitioned transsexuals using women’s bathrooms because 1) there’s so few transsexual people, most “trans” people will never have SRS in their entire life and the majority don’t take hormones either 2) feminists are mainly concerned with the unique sexual threat that functioning penises pose to women 3) that system is not remotely as abuse-able for predators compared to self-ID 4) true transsexuals tend to be much more respectful and deferring about women’s spaces than the transgender activists we see today (ie, they overwhelmingly don’t threaten to rape/beat up/kill women that don’t agree with them being in women’s spaces, or accuse women of killing trans people even though it’s men doing that, or threatening to commit suicide over not being included in women’s spaces the way that so many transgender activists do).
The new trend of violent transgender activists centering all their hostility towards women who disagree with them and trying to gaslight everyone into thinking that penises are female sex organs has really ended up throwing transsexuals under the bus. They’ve created a rapidly-advancing threat to women’s safety and people like you end up getting dragged into the issue by superficial association, and I really am dismayed to see this. Previously, we didn’t really have to worry about this .
I don’t think there’s a 100% clear-cut answer here, and I think each issue varies (for example, I don’t think that violent transsexual male criminals should ever be transferred to women’s prisons but there should instead be safety measures in men’s prisons for them, professional sports should also be strictly sex-segregated, etc). For bathrooms, when there is no single-occupant neutral one available, I don’t have a particular problem with transsexuals who have had sex reassignment using women’s washrooms. I think that a notably significant effort to transition (which would inadvertently end up making women more comfortable and fairly effectively neutralize the sexual threat that males would otherwise pose to women) could earn someone special privileges to be guests in women’s bathrooms. Not to say that transsexuals should be regarded as children obviously, but we do allow young male children to be in women’s bathrooms even though they’re not females because they clearly don’t pose any risk to women but can be at risk in men’s bathrooms. I think there can be room for considering the risk (or lackthereof) that an individual poses.
Of course, that’s just my opinion on it. I’m generally pretty relaxed about such things (not sure why), while other radfems are more strict, often because of worse personal experiences than I’ve had. It’s important to bear in mind that women should not be expected to fix male violence, nor should women be responsible for protecting males from other male violence (and in turn being seen as responsible for crimes committed against males by males since women didn’t ‘protect them enough’, as I see happening frequently with trans activists blaming women for men committing violence against trans people, totally avoiding confronting the actual problem). That’s not what you’re doing of course, I’m just clarifying my position. Male violence is the fault of men alone, it is men’s responsibility to stop it and create protections. One of the tasks feminism has undertaken is to create those protections and hold men responsible for their crimes (because men sure as hell weren’t doing it themselves, even though they should have but of course didn’t), and feminism by its nature must focus on women. Women should not ever be expected/required to change their lives or relinquish their protections in order to prevent males from assaulting other males, nor should women be held at-fault for not doing enough (ie, giving up enough protections) to stop male violence, nor should feminism be attacked for focusing on females. Again though, that’s not what you’re doing, that’s just the current trend of discourse.
At the same time, although women/feminism should not be expected to do this or attacked for not meeting the standard, I don’t think it detracts unfairly from women to extend help to people such as yourself out of benevolence to people in general. The cause is the same as feminism’s main target (male violence and toxic masculinity), and it is not such a huge and separate issue that it’d require a significant burden of resources to address. It needn’t redefine women/females either (like I mentioned before, we still allow young male children into women’s bathrooms but we acknowledge that this does not make them women/females or imply that women’s bathrooms should be open to anyone). Gay/bisexual men are also victims of similar hostility from other men, but transsexuals are a vastly smaller group (and have taken more steps to move away from male socialization) than them and they’ve been pretty orphaned from their movement (which mainly focuses on defending the preferred pronouns of violent male criminals and screaming at lesbians for not fantasizing about dicks, rather than actually addressing male violence, misogyny, and homophobia that causes the real problems), so I recognize that you’d benefit from having a larger movement working with you rather than trying to stop male violence against transsexuals by yourselves. Transsexuals can be valuable allies to feminism, so it’s not a one-way benefit relationship, which is a good thing. I just think it shouldn’t be about one group demanding inclusion into another group that they really have no right to be part of, but more about recognizing the benefits of allying and being benevolent when it is possible (again, not because that group should be expected to be benevolent – women are often expected to put others first and their own concerns second – but just out of a wish to help other people). Not a matter of being entitled to women’s washrooms, but of being select guests subject to controls (like requiring SRS) in them.
I think the political side must look at the bigger picture (like opposing identity-based bathroom rules because of the risks this entails, and the minimal/absent transition effort and blatant misogyny of the people pushing these laws; also being opposed to efforts to erase the differences between men/women by allowing personal identity/feelings to dictate everyone’s reality), while the individual side can recognize the exceptions (eg, I don’t think a transsexual person who has had SRS and hormones and living as a woman for several years poses a notably significant threat to women in a washroom – although trans-identified males tend to retain male patterns of violence and this is a primary source of concern for feminists, what I understand is that this is concentrated mainly in the ‘trans’ males that have never taken hormones or had surgery). Like I said, it’s not clear-cut and trans activists have created such a toxic political environment that’s hard to work around without drawing them into any possible loopholes/flexibilities, but I’m more concerned about carte-blanche national policies allowing males that often vehemently hate/resent women to access rape crisis shelters and washrooms with no controls beyond a magic 5-word phrase (“I identify as a woman”) than I am with a medically-transitioned transsexual living as a woman for many years being given “guest access”, so to speak, to some women’s spaces.
Is there a way to support radical feminism as a transsexual? I really would like to but I always find myself being told that my pure existence is a danger to radical feminism. Or that at least I should be something different. Most of the time a gender non-conforming boy. And always it comes back to identity. I just want to help.
Have you read this piece?
https://mirandayardley.com/en/transgender-ideology-noes-not-support-women/
“Have you read this piece?”
https://mirandayardley.com/en/transgender-ideology-noes-not-support-women/
I have and also a lot of other pieces similar to this one and I agree on most of it. Still don’t see how this supports radical feminism.
Maybe consider supporting women rather than radical feminism per se? Five to ten years ago the women in this debate were mainly radical feminists, now it’s mainly ‘ordinary’ women who feel their ability to describe their everyday lives is being taken away.
I support women whereever I can. But all the women I’m friends with tell me that their life situations are way better than mine. They also refuse not to consider me as a woman when I tell them about these debates and they find it rather crazy. How do the women you mean say their lifes get taken away?
I didn’t mean lifes being taken away. But the ability to describe their every day lifes.
Paula- as a natural born woman who totally leans right, I think you can relax. As a grocery clerk who regularly interacts with all kinds of people, I can’t say I care about how someone presents themselves. I’m a little unsure of what you mean by casual interactions, but I think picking up a gallon of milk or a pack of Marlboros is as casual as it gets. I’ve had a few regulars who presented as their non-native gender, and the solution, to me, was to learn their name. Then pronouns were a non issue. If they were a non-regular customer, they are simply ‘the customer in aisle 2’. You don’t need to say or explain anything. I don’t know how to say this politely (or even if it could be said politely) but man-legs are still man-legs. And adam’s apple, trapezeiods, deltoids, etc. If you are relating a story or incident, I think simply saying ‘prior to transitioning…’ the way I say ‘before I had kids…’. I guess the bigger question might be how open to questions are you, and do you have some trademark answers for the ones that occur regularly. For exame, I was a teen mom, so when people find out how old my oldest is, they always ask ‘you can’t have children that old! How old were you?’ My answer, everytime, is ‘apparently old enough’. Things like that. Anyways, bes tof luck to you.
In addition to my former comment:
Of course I would never invade any space that is not created for me because it is for biologically females only. Firstly out of respect and secondly because they’re probably talking about issues I have nothing to say about and that are none of my business. So trying to invade those would actually just be a way to confirm ones identity which is a thing that I personally don’t find very interesting since there’s more exciting stuff in life than the rather reactionary concept of identity.
I was just talking about everyday life gendering which is based on what people think ones sex is. Even if ones perspective is something like: M-to-F transsexuals are mentally ill males with mutilated bodies. This doesn’t affect the way other people see their bodies. So.. what to do?
I love your work and I sincerely commend your courage to stick your neck out in this toxic and violent atmosphere of transgender ideology. I really appreciate your political/cultural insights and your perspectives as a transsexual, I always learn something new from your works. I have been so thoroughly repulsed and disappointed with supposed women’s groups and gay/bisexual groups changing their cultures to revolve around the feelings of perpetually and violently angry young males with an axe to grind against women and ‘misgender-ers’. It’s such a breath of fresh air to hear from trans people like you that have unique and politically-astute insights to share. I am sickened to see women’s rights being rolled back by lady-brainerz glorifying sexualized aggression against women as progressive and ‘woke’, as well as how you and other critically-minded trans people are thrown under the bus and subjected to abuse by them as part of it. Lots of love from Canada!
thank your for your differentiated argument;
I have only encountered one trans-person, part of a hetero-couple, early in my career, many years ago; it bewildered me and my biggest question left was what the dynamic between the couple really was; then a couple of years ago, I saw a statue of a trans person in AUS – female to male who decided not go for the fuFrom that background I am wondering whether the apparent surge of trans-identity or at least the discussion of it (and certainly the spiteful strands of it) does not at least to some extent stem from the inability to live with ambiguity, to accept am-bi-valence? Has any trans-kid, for example, ever had the chance of deep existential counselling saying it is ok to be wrong, it is ok to be both…? Scrolling through some of the early comments I came across the painful one of a young man sectioned, under psychiatric ‘care’ – and my heart aches. As I doubt the answer has been found there yet…
Thanks for your work! Best wishes,
it appears that a sentence in my comment just now was misprinted (as I only noticed when copying and pasting onto my fb page where I share the link to your site). Apologies. It should read: … a statue of a trans person in AUS – female to male who decided not go for the full op in the end. There was an aha-moment, There was something I could understand. …
This is a lot of what I have been wrestling with a lot as of late.
My experience is largely different from many other male-to-female transgender/transsexual women. In the years leading up to my transition, I exhibited very few male characteristics – stereotypical or otherwise. I never embraced my self-described gay man’s identity, having felt no more authenticity in that than I did before I came out as such in an effort to “live my truth.” My transition began not as a result of having “failed at manhood,” but at having never felt any affinity with manhood in the first place.
My transition has been much less about “womanhood” than it is about “personhood.” My character has been severely altered, in that behaviors and language that was dictated by testosterone has shifted with the complete changeover to estrogen. This is not, however, what “makes me a woman,” and I do not claim to have a female body. Despite this, I do not find that I belong in any male space, nor did I ever feel I belonged in a male space before I began my transition. I also have very few factors that call to my not having been born with XX chromosomes, and my presence in a men’s bathroom – a facet of the trans debate that I am wary of engaging in – caused men to double take only a few months into my taking hormones. I am not arguing that my ability to be “stealth,” as it were, necessitates my usage of a women’s bathroom, but I do not see an alternative.
Per the male violence in the trans community, I am wholly sickened by the usurpation of TERF as a slur or epithet of rage from the original usage as a categorization within the cisgendered feminist community (if I am wrong about this origination, please feel free to correct me). I do see a LOT of trans women clinging to male privilege and using it to their advantage. “Loudest in the room” unfortunately applies to many, and I see a lot of behavior that resembles that of the “masculinity so fragile” tag that was floating around the luminiferous ether a few years back. Fear of being triggered has resulted in severe reprimand – at best – to misgendering and questioning the validity/authenticity of trans people’s existence instead of inwardly working to heal from the issues that are being triggered. In other words, the triggering is ultimately the responsibility of the one being triggered, not the person who isn’t even trying to be triggering.
Finally – at least in this specific comment – I find the existence of trans men in men’s spaces to be grossly lacking in these arguments. Perhaps it is because male privilege is not threatened, or because they do not face any of the treatment by women that women do by men. But we cannot myopically focus on trans women when debating the presence of trans people in the spaces of the gender that they now identify with that opposes their assigned sex at birth. If trans women are not welcome in women’s spaces and need to understand their existence outside of the female identity, then what of trans men’s existence outside of the male identity? Using the bathroom example – which again, seems a bit cheap when there are SO many other areas of issue here – if trans women should not be using women’s restrooms, this relegates them to men’s bathrooms in the absence of a gender neutral bathroom. On the other side, does this then relegate trans men to using women’s restrooms? And if this occurs, will women be any less threatened by the existence of a male-presenting person who was not born with a penis than by a female-identifying male-bodied person? Are trans men’s presence in women’s spaces validated by their pre-transition experiences as females, or is it negated by their visual presentations that represent male existence?
Everything you say is false.
Women, as always, are sexually abused at a far higher rate than males of any kind. The murder rate is highest of non-trans males, followed by non-trans females, followed by trans males and trans females.
Historical “third genders” have all been based on rigid gender roles in patriarchal societies and the policing of people’s behavior due to said gender roles, which are both proscriptive and prescriptive.
Interesting you accuse others of being “ahistorical” when 1)you cannot give a non-circular definition of “woman” that does not involve sex and 2)you are appropriating and mischaracterizing the history of other cultures.
god bless you for this. god bless you.
Thank you so much for this coherent thoughtful opinion, you give me hope!
Wow. As a woman.… I really appreciate you both! Your view is different and it is right. Because a man can never really “for real” become me. You are your own definition, and that is beautiful and that is OK and wonderful! And it is not hateful of me to say this. What is hateful, and downright misogynistic, in the most insidious of manners… Is to say that a man can be me. Just like I cannot “for real” become a man.
You speak the truth that will make a lot of people mad. But then again, truth usually does. Thank you so much. I have so much respect for what you two are saying. Like… A lot. As a woman… Just a woman!… Not a “CIS” woman.. But a flesh, blood, and spirit, vagina born woman LOL- I REALLY must thank you.
I agree 100% with what you’re saying here and also: HOLY SHIT, ANOTHER RADFEM IN PORTLAND? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN AND WHY AREN’T THERE MORE OF US?
Thanks for saying it. We highly appreciate it! <3
I can’t agree more with the views expressed here.
We should be proud to be transgender women, we don’t need to fight for some right to be something we are not, i.e. women.
In my experience, (cis) women are kind and supportive to trans women, they have had to fight the same battles themselves.
This whole approach of ‘trans women are women, full stop’ is dangerous because it shuts down debate, and it’s by engaging in debate that we win acceptance, eventually, in society. It’s also dangerous and sad, as it is trying to negate hard-won benefits that women have eventually won from a patriarchal society.
Yardley, I wish you would shut up and stop telling actual trans people what it means to be trans. You clearly have never transitioned, even though you say you have. The truth is that you hate real trans women because they did what you cannot; which is to actually transition. You have said in interviews that you have transitioned, but you all also claim men cannot transition. My question for you is this, did you transition from a man to Alex Jones in a dress? You need to actually transition, or put mens clothes back on and STFU. You misrepresent autogynofilia as a fetish, which the doctor who invented the term clearly said it was not. I wonder how much the feminist agenda pays you to attack transwomen? Your arguments are sophistry, you would not last five minutes in a debate with a real transwoman like Blair White.
There’s no such thing as a real fake woman. Silly.
What’s there to transition into. You are what you are. If you’re feminine, you’ve always been that way, right?
Do you actually listen to Blair’s white because she constantly says that trans women can not fully be a woman
I know transwomen I see as women. Really you too would fall into my cultural bracket of woman, because of your real understanding of misogyny, your outspoken bravery and solidarity. I guess that infers i have a non biological definition, one of sisterhood rather than anything physical, but what you, and some of my friends, display with their non egocentric definition, having watched and listened, is what makes you part of it.
Once i lived in a hostel with a middle-aged sex offender who identified as female. I can’t afford him female pronouns, i just can’t, despite always doing so in other cases. He was open about being a sex offender, often ran into trouble with local teens & would get into rows with them. He would complain about bra straps and pervy men, it was really quite disturbing. He wore a ponytail and padded bra, occasionally lipstick, and had big hairy arms, prison tattoos on show, like the crudest parody. I noticed quite a few of these men in my time in hostels and homelessness. It worries me, a lot. That these people need support, for one, but also something else is happening. The shock tactic of cross dressing is huge, and it’s used. When we’re forbidden from questioning the validity, we end up with people like him, or Yaniv, or whoever.
Female only spaces were a huge part of my recovery. I don’t have an objection to a post op transwoman using them, but other’s might, esp when talking about addiction, domestic violence and rape crisis centres. When we’re often discussing past male violence and people are hugely vulnerable.
The problem is, those who would seek these places out are pretty likely to hail from the more worrying, apparently transwomen. Not the ones who’ve fully invested.
It’s frightening, and what gets to me so much is the absolute bollox from privileged, theoretical ‘feminists’ and woke bloke twats who have never haved to use somewhere, because they have no parent’s safe space, money for rent or counselling. It’s extremely elitist, actually.
Think you’re brilliant in what you do for us all, Miranda x
i wonder how different people would be talking about this issue if trans men were pushing cis men out of sports, and winning man of the year, and basically leagally negating the definition of man.
This… this is exactly what us rad fems want to hear. This is being circulated amongst the “terf” crew right now as someone who understands us–who gets it
I’d like to hear more from you. We need to raise up your voices!
I cannot even begin to explain the deep disappointment that I feel toward the LGBT community for what is the single worst and most destructive thing for what we have fought for and have been slowly but surely prevailing at; equal rights for the LGBT community.
I am a gay male and if anyone even dares to attempt to tack on the “cis” prefix to “male” in describing me, I will punch them right in the face.
I am not a violent person. No, really, I’m not. But after reading article after article and post after post where people from my community are making some of the most crazy, delusional arguments I’ve ever read in my entire life and placing them under the flag of equal rights, I am beyond disgusted and horrified to the point of fury.
Mark my words, this is VERY dangerous and the LGBT community will pay dearly in the form of everything we’ve fought for taking a leap backwards and causing others who would actually support us to hate us and rightfully so.
How DARE you place your feelings about who you are above those of others to the point of forcing them to conform to adopting your delusions? I can’t believe that you lot cannot accept that what you are proposing is basically that the world MUST call you what you insist to be called and they must view you as a real, actual female no different than my mother because…you feel like a woman trapped inside a man’s body? Are you kidding me?
I am not appalled by the idea that an individual could feel they were born in the wrong body. That is a real condition and as much as it seems I’m a hater, I am most definitely not. I am infuriated by this debacle of further marginalizing actual women and insisting you are an actual woman because you prefer to live as a female. I understand how you can feel you are a women and I would never say you are wrong in FEELING like a woman. In fact, I will agree that the disconnect that someone feels due to this is devastating and it is something that should be dealt with delicately and with love.
But you will have none of my love if you insist that no matter what anyone says, what you feel overrides biology to the point you have to force everyone to adopt your point of view and if they don’t, they richly deserve to be severely punished. Only an attention grubbing scumbag would think nothing of having a person lose their job because they don’t comply with your orders.
What really gets me is the vast majority of these people whom are labelled TERFS and spoken down to would without hesitation fight for your human rights and support you in your quest toward a reassignment surgery but this nonsense will cause them to withdraw their support.
Finally, you won’t die in agony if someone refers to you as a male. I do agree that repeatedly doing so in a defiant and discriminatory manner is indeed harassment but the trans rights movement is doing that very thing to women and the womens’ movement when they have the audacity to claim that the to identify as a real woman all you need is to focus on your feelings. That prevails. And women are left in the dust having once again to defend their gender from being something expendable, flippant, and based only on feelings.
What a slap in the face of the womens’ right movement and to women everywhere. These women include your mothers and sisters. Have some respect!
You are clearly not a trans individual. On your hate speach alone one can tell. Please go k*ll your self. Also I would be nice just to nuke the world.
Are violent threats really helping your cause?
Facts. I’m late to the party having only just realized so-called “TERFs” are and have been absolutely right all along. I’m sorry I didn’t take your concerns more seriously before. It’s not about sharing bathrooms and never has been, only “anti-TERFs” act like it is because they have such a shallow understanding of sex and sexism as well as women’s concerns about this shift of meaning in related language. Transwomen may not be as threatening as men who aren’t trans (in general), but this “transwomen are women” ideology absolutely is screwing women over, and the trans community doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. That’s exactly what a man would do, truly, so if being a man or woman is about the inside not the outside… you’re still a man if you’re acting like that. No woman would want to tear down feminism, especially because it does benefit trans people too whether they are “excluded from” the movement or not. I only realized “TERFs” are right recently because of everyone trying to insist feminists do “intersectionality” lately. Only feminists of course, no one else. No one has to consider sexism or anything. Basically “put someone else first, anyone but women.” Like feminism is a movement to abolish sexism, that’s what it is about. It it were about everything, it wouldn’t be about anything. If we all have to include each other in our movements, there would just be one movement and it would be worthless. All it is is trying to completely diffuse feminism under the guise of being a “good, thoughtful person”. I am tired of being silenced for talking about sexism as I know it because 1% of so-called women don’t agree with me. Then other women listen to them instead of me because of internalized misogyny. It’s an absolutely mess. Transwomen who do not empathize with and who bully women who are worried about being abused by men are no longer women to me. You act like a man, you can get called a man.
Facts. I’m late to the party having only just realized so-called “TERFs” are and have been absolutely right all along. I’m sorry I didn’t take your concerns more seriously before. It’s not about sharing bathrooms and never has been, only “anti-TERFs” act like it is because they have such a shallow understanding of sex and sexism as well as women’s concerns about this shift of meaning in related language. (As do most people. It’s usually not something people think about in their daily lives – and I include myself in that. If you posit bathrooms as a frontline issue, you start to understand why people use it so often. It’s where we are most vulnerable in a public space. “Not having to worry” about assault is a very salient argument. However, it also puts aside the facts, since there are no instances of a trans person assaulting a woman in any bathroom, let alone children. When a male rapist uses the generously provided MO to get what he’s after – possibly against a trans woman – then the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater. It’s a strawman argument. I feel unsafe in any bathroom, knowing a person could harm me just for disagreeing on who I am.)
Transwomen may not be as threatening as men who aren’t trans (in general), but this “transwomen are women” ideology absolutely is screwing women over, and the trans community doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. (There are trans women who are every bit as intimidating as any threatening male. How that screws women over is beyond me, unless a threatening person is actively threatening you. Is that happening? Please cite examples. You will be believed, though that didn’t work out too well at the Witch Trials. I’m still trying to figure out how having linebacker-tough women [yes, even TERFs] in your corner is screwing women over. Tough women sometimes get angry when cornered and shout for their rights and, yes, sometimes for help. Some of those tough women are trans women, knowing how white male privilege and its legacy effects on society work and more importantly; how to fight it. Trans women aren’t bothered by… what? How women, in general, are being supported more and more each day in politics, media and society? You see attacks on being a woman, but I see you pointing at a trans woman and not bothering to get to know them before making assumptions about who they are, what they’ve gone through and how it relates to choosing to be a gender that does not have a great history of being treated fairly, much less equal.)
That’s exactly what a man would do, truly, so if being a man or woman is about the inside not the outside… you’re still a man if you’re acting like that. (Again with a strawman argument fallacy. Men aren’t universally bad and woman-hating. Wow. And, for the record, there are trans women and cis women who act like this. Women will work against their own best interests, as humans have been wont to do throughout human history, because indoctrination is a mold too hard to break for people who have learned to solve problems with aggression. That goes for any human being, though sadly, it is always the first weapon of choice for a bigot, be they male, female or anything in between.)
No woman would want to tear down feminism, especially because it does benefit trans people too whether they are “excluded from” the movement or not. I only realized “TERFs” are right recently because of everyone trying to insist feminists do “intersectionality” lately. Only feminists of course, no one else. (There are many examples of women who work against gender equality. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3745873/Why-women-worst-misogynists-high-flying-mum-never-helped-classic-example-says-VIVIENNE-PARRY.html Oh, and intersectionality is called inclusiveness here in the US and we take it seriously, because we believe in the underdog, if their cause is deemed to be just, harms no one and makes society better. We give each minority a voice at the table for fair representation. It’s not a perfect system, but it allows people to be recognized for their different perspective of the world. For instance, a disabled person is not disallowed from participating to the extent of which the accommodations allow – and there has been and continues to be a nation-wide effort to make as much of the country accessible as possible. Feminists aren’t being singled out to accept trans women. It may seem that way, since that’s the angle that you are experiencing. The sun does shine on the other side of the moon. Men, women, self-hating trans people and especially ignorant bigots are targeted for hating that which they have not experienced and do not wish to understand. Yes, there are trans people who hate themselves because they see only hardship if they continue on the path toward being true to themselves and the rest of the world.)
No one has to consider sexism or anything. Basically “put someone else first, anyone but women.” Like feminism is a movement to abolish sexism, that’s what it is about. It it were about everything, it wouldn’t be about anything. If we all have to include each other in our movements, there would just be one movement and it would be worthless. (There is only one movement – equal rights and consideration for all. We separate people with labels and have to fight, one group at a time, for recognition, then for acceptance, then for rights, then for respect. Put someone else first? Do you mean the aforementioned groups? We largely like to think that women have it better than before. We know that it is utter crap to think it’s equal now, so the fight isn’t over. How trans women help all women is by saying something that all trans women throughout time have known – the veil between genders is really quite thin. Trans people largely wish to bridge gaps in understanding. Humans are fearful and petty at times, even when capable of and achieving greatness. What is worthless about wanting less fear and drama in our lives?)
All it is is trying to completely diffuse feminism under the guise of being a “good, thoughtful person”. I am tired of being silenced for talking about sexism as I know it because 1% of so-called women don’t agree with me. (We are trying to de-fuse radicalism so it doesn’t blow up in our faces, not feminism, which the fat lot of us uphold in the highest regard. Hate gets the loudest bigots riled up and it looks good for a minute, but when understanding dawns, the hate dies down and acceptance follows. It’s rather like people don’t like to change anything, so they fight against it tooth-and-nail until realizing how it fits into their lives and benefits them or someone they love. No one is silencing you. What they want is to be understood and accepted. It’s a big ask, I know, but hear a lady out. I’m not coming for you or your children. I’m not coming to take your men. I’m not after your women, though a good one can have me for life, if we mutually agree to love and respect one another. Sexism does exist and we want to help you fight it, because it affects us as well. Anecdotally, I’m stronger than most men I know, but I get pushed aside by men when physical tasks are at hand. I also experience blatant sexual harassment, but know how to deal with it, because I know that a lot of it is a learned behavior, not a prelude to an assault. Because it isn’t easy to tell the difference, I let guys know that it’s always better to go with polite interest over sexual overtures. So far, it has landed very well. People generally respond well to those who know their boundaries. Does this make me a good, thoughtful person? Not really, but it does mean that in my daily life, I’m making an attempt to lift out the filth that the patriarchy ingrained in our society.)
Then other women listen to them instead of me because of internalized misogyny. (Sexism, as you know it, seems to include some wild idea that the rantings of a select few ‘anti-TERFs’ represent the thinking of an entire population of millions. What’s sexist is telling someone who they are; not merely with regard to their expressed gender, but also to how that *should* be defined, based on your narrow understanding of it. Greater people than myself have defined it and it’s far more complex than we can fathom without deep research into the mechanics of it all. I’m with a relatively small portion of the trans population who believes that we are intersexed and the societal binary calls us to be one or the other. It happens that some people are born with autism, sociopathy, missing limbs, extra nipples, two sets of genitals, no genitals, et cetera. Sadly, like being born with cleft palate, dwarfism or gigantism, we did all we could to hide it and fit in. It’s really hard to hide for most of us, but there are cures. Like having an appendix out is not mutilation, like having your cleft palate repaired is not mutilation, like having your gall bladder out is not mutilation, we have our genitalia rearranged to make us as we should have been at birth. It’s not deception. It’s not encroaching upon your territory. Anyone seeing it as such seriously doesn’t understand the trans experience. I was derided by my own mother for finally choosing to live honestly for the rest of my life. “Why would you want to do that? Being a white male in this country is the best you can ask for.” “Well, Mom. It’s because I can’t look people in the eye. It’s because I cry myself to sleep over hurting my family and friends by holding onto this secret. Also, it’s because I feel that if I have to go on another day in that fuzzy prison, I will find it that much harder to go on with life.” Coming out did hurt lots of people. But it started to make sense to people as they got to know the real me. My relationships with friends, family and co-workers all improved so far beyond my wildest expectations that I wanted to sing every moment of every day! Then I found out that lines were being drawn among my favorite inspirational people, like JK Rowling, Dave Chappelle, Chris Pratt and far too many B-list talking heads with a microphone. It’s like they see transvestites [autogynephiliacs] as part of the trans community, but they are less akin to transsexuals than cross-dressers, who are officially men dressing up as girls. The old joke goes, “What’s the difference between a cross-dresser and a trans woman? About six months.” Transvestites are looking for a thrill in fooling someone – even themselves. You know the Crying Game? Did anyone pay attention to the fact that Dil was certain that Fergus had been informed about being a non-op trans woman? It was Jody [Dil’s boyfriend] who hated his captor, Fergus, so much that he put Dil in harm’s way as he played his last card, apparently a joker, from the grave. Jody fooled Fergus, not Dil.)
It’s an absolutely mess. Transwomen who do not empathize with and who bully women who are worried about being abused by men are no longer women to me. You act like a man, you can get called a man.
(“Transwomen who do not empathize with and who bully women” is an ad hoc, ergo propter hoc argument. Trans women do not have to agree with you for any reason, nor does anyone else. We are all free to be assholes and trans women are no exception, just like women are no exception. You are saying men are assholes to women, when this has not been my mildly well-traveled experience. Countries run by totalitarianism or religious bigots [read: most Asian and African countries], notwithstanding. Let’s unpack the “women who are worried about being abused by men” bit. The fingers in your ears about gender spectrums aside, calling trans women men is insulting when you consider how much more we deal with than you do. We are just as targeted by people as a woman as any other woman is; are targeted as an object of fetishism among a very tiny sliver of men and women and our attackers and detractors alike are let go with a “you made me do paperwork for this?” slap on the wrist; and we are targeted by those who don’t understand us and don’t want to by people afraid of what we can do – which is what anyone can do. Yes, there are HUGE trans woman. There are HUGE women, too. Big Brenda could snap you in two, but is she disallowed from women-only spaces? Yes, if she used to have testosterone in her blood. Why is that? What if she’s intersexed and has told no one? What if she’s XXY and no one knows – not even her? What if she’s full of bio-identical estrogen and has been waiting in the queue for the loo for the past fifteen minutes, risking a UTI while doing the pee-pee dance? She’s no different, other than how she physically became a woman. She’s not after a quick fingering in the dirty stall. She has to urinate, wash up and then go back to life as normal. Please prove otherwise and stop using baseless fear to rule your outlook on life. Always be aware that harm can come from anyone. It’s far, far less likely to come your way in a bathroom from a random trans woman needing to pee than a woman who’s boyfriend or girlfriend you stole. And honestly, you talk like a man with all your absolutes, holes in your logic and ultimatums, so who knows; you may act like a man, too. You know, ignoring the facts to sell a spiteful agenda is a human trait and not just a male trait. It’s also one of the ugliest we possess as a species. To boot, most men aren’t soul-sucking assholes. Let’s not throw them under the bus too much.)
I wouldn’t like being called a “cis woman” either.
Trans people who have had their bodies medically or surgically changed to look more like their target sex, aren’t either women or men. They’re actually a kind of artificially constructed intersex. Biologically, they’re like their birth sex in many ways; but in other ways, such as (perhaps) their hormone levels or their breast size, their bodies are like their target sex. We have a new kind of intersex people around.
And transwomen tend to not look very convincing as women, and they’re far more common than naturally intersex people who don’t definitely look like either a woman or a man. So it’s causing a lot of disruption to our existing social conventions.
Regarding these people as a kind of intersex would spare women from the implication that transwomen belong in women’s spaces, women’s sports, etc. They are their own kind of people. Being a kind of intersex means that while they do have rights, such as a place to empty their tanks without being harassed in the men’s bathroom, they have no automatic right to be in women’s spaces, since they aren’t women.