I have mixed feelings about pronouns. In real life, I’m a ‘them/their/they’ kind of person and yes. I have a bunch of friends who are trans, and yes as they are my friends I address them using their preferred pronouns. It’s nice to be nice, ya know.
Pronouns are not owed by default, if transwomen want to be addressed by preferred pronouns, then they have to show respect. Misgendering is NOT violence. Threatening and harassing women on the Internet IS violence. If a transwoman attacks women and feminists on the Internet, then they do not deserve the courtesy of pronouns. Fuck ‘em.
I am comfortable with, and most people address me as, either ‘them/their’ or ‘she/her’. Some people do, of course, use male pronouns. This happens day to day in shops etc. I do not, and I certainly do not advocate for, making a fuss out of this. Shop assistants are often on minimum wage, put their livelihood before your own vanity.
Finally, and I leave this until last as it is the most important point and I hope will remain with everyone who reads this, I would say that no woman, no biological woman anywhere, owes it to any transwoman or ‘transgender’ woman to address them by female pronouns, what with all that women endure from men, from the moment they come into this world, all the oppression, objectification, being treated as second-class citizens, you name it, women owe us shit.
There are cis women that tell trans women that they aren’t women because they don’t have a vagina, how does a trans woman show respect to people like that? To associate trans women with men, merely because they don’t possess a vagina, is transphobic.
Do cis women who take part in self hatred and misogyny lose their womanhood? Would you judge them as men?
When you purposefully misgender a trans woman because they don’t live up to “womanhood” in your eyes, it’s transphobia, and it’s violence.
I can’t believe someone I follow would reblog something like this, with no dissenting commentary, which tells me you agree with the sentiments expressed. After this response, I’m unfollowing you.
So something I wrote about transphobia is transphobic. Gawd bless Tumblr. A clarification on pronouns: it’s not just about respect for the individual, it’s also about respect for women, as a class.
